last night it was once again high time for me to subject myself to a facial waxing treatment - time had gone by since the last time and 'it' had grown and since payday was last week there were sufficient funds available to take the trip.
on the way to a friend's house I stopped at the hotel that has waxing facilities and enquired about a free appointment - they attended to me straight away. the girl was cute and although they sometimes lack intuition and creative spirit the waxing of facial hair does not require much of either - or so I thought.
so I lie down on the bed and start relaxing into the treatment. the first part is straight forward but painful. we come to the second part - the eyebrows. those of you who know me know that my brows grow to a fairly impressive size when left to their own devices; runs in the family... so I said (as I have learnt to on previous occasions) 'thin style' - this usually works just fine for what I need. I close my eyes and let her do the job.
as usual without seeing what's going on it feels like she's removing my entire eyebrow - from experience, however, I know that upon opening my eyes I find that they'd done a good job. so I try not to get too stressed out about the fact that she keeps applying layers of wax followed by frantic plucking, followed by more wax. eventually I am invited to open my eyes and check in the mirror whether this was what I wanted.
I open my eyes - lift the mirror to my face - and my expression goes into 'terror' followed by the exlamation 'OH. MY. GOD.' - the poor girl is petrified. but she should be: she managed to remove the half of the eyebrow nearer the ear completely bar about 3 hairs whilst the part nearer my nose is pretty much identical to what it was 10 minutes before... not quite the 'thin style' I'd had in mind. I looked at my reflection in disbelief - and then said - ok, this is not what I wanted, but can you at least thin out the part nearer my nose (just in case she was going to remove the three remaining hairs also), kind of indicating with my finger that I meant to make them narrower by waxing off the top of the bushy bit horizontally. I recline, close my eyes and rack my brain for a mantra I could sing whilst she dollops more wax onto my eyebrow and: oh yes - removes half of what remains - vertically. when I open my eyes again I can see that my eyebrow is way too short for the size of my eye.
I exclaim again - and the poor woman is by that point so distressed she's not quite sure how to handle it. I tell her to stop working on my right brow - I have a feeling it would only get worse from hereon forth. the only explanation she offers is: 'I don't have much experience with eyebrows' - no kidding!
so I recline again and she gets to work on my second brow. whilst I lie there I think to myself should I have mentioned that faces are more pretty when there's a certain symmetry? but I don't, assuming that it's common sense that a face should be as symmetrical as possible for it to be considered a beautiful face.
the procedure takes much less time on the left hand side. guess why? well - she doesn't remove half the amount of hair on that brow and actually leaves it exactly the way I would have wanted both of them to look. so - not only do I now dispose of a mutilated and burnt right eyebrow, but the left one is totally asymmetrical in comparison. I tell her that THIS is what I had wanted things to look like from the outset. she just repeats over and over how sorry she is. and then goes - ok, come on, now I wax your armpits so you forgive me. [how could you forgive someone in exchange for waxing your armpits? IT HURTS LIKE HELL] luckily I had recently shaved the pits - so I tell her - no, no it's ok - the hair is too short anyway. she does not let it be and goes: 'what about down there?' (with an arm movement indicating roughly in the direction of my crotch) - I shake my head and go: 'too short too I'm afraid' - just as well I shave regularly; who knows what damage I would have suffered otherwise...
now I have an 80s face - i.e. asymmetrical - and who knows what good that will do for my chance to meet a nice guy... my friend reckons I should bank on the compassion factor - I like the idea.
and tomorrow I have a hairdressing appointment...
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Monday, 20 April 2009
the worst chat-up line and the best compliment - or another weekend in kigali
this weekend was much like many others I've spent in kigali but there have been two moments that I would like to share because they are too good not to.
friday night I'm out in one of the clubs with my friend - we're having drinks, are dancing, chatting, laughing, people-watching and generally having a good time when suddenly there's a power cut. this is nothing unusual - happens sometimes. so there we are - in the glow of the emergency lights with our drinks taking a break from the dancing and just chattering away when this guy walks up to us. the place is full of very interesting fauna - most of them not my types and sometimes rather annoying individuals - but that's not so unusual either. anyway - the guy walks up to us and goes 'why aren't you dancing?' - now - it's hard to put into words what my face must have said. my mouth said to him: 'can you hear music? it must be in your head...' - thinking to myself you've either had too much lariam or have simply chosen the worst chat-up line at the worst moment... or am I just over-demanding? you decide.
and then yesterday - sunday - I was feeling a bit under the weather and was just on my way back from the supermarket, lost in thought and contemplating what to do with my afternoon. when I'm about to turn off into my road there's a moto-taxi in front of me that sort of slows down and both the driver and the passenger - a rwandese woman - are looking at me as though they know me. I looked at them and decided that I'd never seen them before and so I overtook them as they kept staring at me. when I got to the speed bumps they caught up with me and as we're level the woman turns round, gives me a huge smile and just says 'you are beautiful'.
well - what more do you want on a blue sunday? this is the nicest compliment I've ever received from a complete stranger, and a woman at that. positively made my day.
friday night I'm out in one of the clubs with my friend - we're having drinks, are dancing, chatting, laughing, people-watching and generally having a good time when suddenly there's a power cut. this is nothing unusual - happens sometimes. so there we are - in the glow of the emergency lights with our drinks taking a break from the dancing and just chattering away when this guy walks up to us. the place is full of very interesting fauna - most of them not my types and sometimes rather annoying individuals - but that's not so unusual either. anyway - the guy walks up to us and goes 'why aren't you dancing?' - now - it's hard to put into words what my face must have said. my mouth said to him: 'can you hear music? it must be in your head...' - thinking to myself you've either had too much lariam or have simply chosen the worst chat-up line at the worst moment... or am I just over-demanding? you decide.
and then yesterday - sunday - I was feeling a bit under the weather and was just on my way back from the supermarket, lost in thought and contemplating what to do with my afternoon. when I'm about to turn off into my road there's a moto-taxi in front of me that sort of slows down and both the driver and the passenger - a rwandese woman - are looking at me as though they know me. I looked at them and decided that I'd never seen them before and so I overtook them as they kept staring at me. when I got to the speed bumps they caught up with me and as we're level the woman turns round, gives me a huge smile and just says 'you are beautiful'.
well - what more do you want on a blue sunday? this is the nicest compliment I've ever received from a complete stranger, and a woman at that. positively made my day.
Monday, 6 April 2009
kigali lights blowout at lake muhazi
it’s been a rough week and by the end of it I just needed to escape – I was feeling overwhelmed by the events and wanted to leave it all behind for a couple of days, take my mind off things, be carefree for a few hours. and as life sometimes is that exact opportunity arrived late thursday afternoon in form of an email inviting us to kigali lights blowout at lake muhazi. some guys had rented a house on the shores of lake muhazi, about half an hour outside of the city for the weekend, bought some goats and invited people to come and hang out. I grabbed this opportunity with both hands.
so on saturday afternoon a bunch of us met up at my house to drive to the place in convoy – I was the only person who ‘knew’ where the place was. before setting out I explained to everyone to take the road towards Uganda but none of the other drivers knew where this was – my response: ‘ok – you’ll follow me; trust me, I know what I’m doing’ – yeah right. we started off driving towards Burundi… but since I’d just been there the previous weekend we turned round and finally got on the right road. the drive is a beautiful one – it slopes among the hills and is the only road I know in Rwanda which is not climbing hills; instead you drive along them with valleys stretching out on the sides of it. it’s a very tender landscape, luscious green fields and red earth, forests, rivers – picture perfect. I remembered the right turn off and we left the tarmac road for a dirt road that would take us to the house.
the first part was perfectly fine until the point where we reached the restaurant; behind that there isn’t really anything of interest and after a heavy rain shower the track had turned into a mudslide. we edged our way through the soapiest substance I’ve ever driven in – car sliding sideways with me having very little control over its movements. needless to say I thoroughly enjoyed it! it was real adventure material – offroad driving is definitely fun in my samurai and I’m always surprised at how sturdy my dear little car is and how well she manages these challenges. at one point however I had to break unexpectedly and missed the clutch so the engine died. I have been having trouble starting the car recently but normally after a while of driving there is enough battery power to start her again; not this time. now – imagine a dirt road with the lake immediately to your right and a ditch and a mountain immediately to your left. we were sliding around enough at is was and I lost the engine in an attempt to prevent us from sliding into the ditch. well, the car didn’t go in the ditch but it also wouldn’t start up again… so there we were, quite literally stuck in the mud; the most gooey mud I’ve ever seen in my life. two steps in it and your shoes weighed at least 2kg each. we phoned our friends who were already at the house to ask for jump cables – they had one and came to rescue me. we connected the cars and successfully started mine up again. and slipped and slided the rest of the way to the house.
the house was amazing, directly on the lake with a big veranda from which steps descended to a dock on stilts out on the lake. the lake is not very wide and the surrounding hills are covered in fields interspersed with huts, you can hear the cows and goats and birds – other than that it’s perfectly peaceful and quiet. we arrived, grabbed a beer and almost immediately the cook came round with a tray of brochettes fresh off the grill – it was like arriving at a five-star hotel. and soon after we arrived dusk settled over the landscape – the sun going down behind the hills opposite the house, shedding a golden glow on the water which was very still and sparkly. I just sat on the steps and took it all in; hungry for the kind of beauty only nature can offer you, hungry for the tranquillity of the place and hungry for some inner peace. and as I sat on the steps drinking up the moment it struck me once more that I am actually in africa – living my dream. I am in love with this place, with this life. and when I am in situations like this one I can’t help but fly up and look down on myself and think – this is what you see in films; a bunch of friends hanging out at a great place and not a worry in the world. it is these moments that make me aware of how very lucky I am to live the life I’m living; sometimes I really do have it all!
after a nice night on the dock we woke up this morning to witness a rainstorm that would turn the road into an inferno of mud again… and then the rain wouldn’t stop for hours. at first we were not too bothered but it wouldn’t stop and wouldn’t stop – and I was getting tired and wanted to go home to my shower and bed; I hadn’t slept all that well on the sofa and had woken up way too early and really wanted a cup of tea. instead I had a can of coke and pretended it was coffee – you’ve got to be flexible, right? the rain stopped and the cooks cooked up a fantastic meal – state of the art omelettes served on a table made from beer crates and banana leaves, followed by freshly caught, grilled eel and the remainder of the goat. my dog devoured the goat skin – which did not exactly please the cooks as they could have sold it… oh dear.
after a nice meal and a beer in the emerging sunshine we decided it was time to get moving. I was going to need someone to jump my car – so we got the cables out again and connected my cherry red ride to one of the big brothers – and could not start her up… at all. SH…T! luckily there were guys there that understand basic car stuff and discovered that my battery acid had virtually dried up – so we filled the battery with mineral water (good trick!) and then she came to life no problem. I also managed not to lose the engine on the way back through the mud. and knowing what was waiting for us I managed to get through with much less problems – in fact I pretty much zipped through the mud as though it wasn’t there (well, maybe a slight exaggeration ;-)) as we got almost to the end of it I suddenly got a whiff of a very rank goaty smell coming from the back of my car. now, if you’re a regular you will know that my dog gets car sick – and sure enough she had spewed up all the goat skin she had devoured earlier… it was the most disgusting thing I’d ever had in a car! and of course I couldn’t drive on with that pile of dead, chewed and spewed goat in the back of my car. so I got out my swiss knife, cut up a water bottle and made a goat-skin-scoop-up device. needless to say the process of removing the remnant of the goat was one of the most disgusting tasks I’d ever performed…
driving back was magical, empty roads winding through beautiful landscape illuminated by the late afternoon sun pouring down the hills. I was alone in the car – except for the sleeping dogs obviously – and just enjoyed a moment of happiness and gratefulness. happy to be alive and grateful to be able to experience such moments and be conscious of their beauty. life can be so sweet!
so on saturday afternoon a bunch of us met up at my house to drive to the place in convoy – I was the only person who ‘knew’ where the place was. before setting out I explained to everyone to take the road towards Uganda but none of the other drivers knew where this was – my response: ‘ok – you’ll follow me; trust me, I know what I’m doing’ – yeah right. we started off driving towards Burundi… but since I’d just been there the previous weekend we turned round and finally got on the right road. the drive is a beautiful one – it slopes among the hills and is the only road I know in Rwanda which is not climbing hills; instead you drive along them with valleys stretching out on the sides of it. it’s a very tender landscape, luscious green fields and red earth, forests, rivers – picture perfect. I remembered the right turn off and we left the tarmac road for a dirt road that would take us to the house.
the first part was perfectly fine until the point where we reached the restaurant; behind that there isn’t really anything of interest and after a heavy rain shower the track had turned into a mudslide. we edged our way through the soapiest substance I’ve ever driven in – car sliding sideways with me having very little control over its movements. needless to say I thoroughly enjoyed it! it was real adventure material – offroad driving is definitely fun in my samurai and I’m always surprised at how sturdy my dear little car is and how well she manages these challenges. at one point however I had to break unexpectedly and missed the clutch so the engine died. I have been having trouble starting the car recently but normally after a while of driving there is enough battery power to start her again; not this time. now – imagine a dirt road with the lake immediately to your right and a ditch and a mountain immediately to your left. we were sliding around enough at is was and I lost the engine in an attempt to prevent us from sliding into the ditch. well, the car didn’t go in the ditch but it also wouldn’t start up again… so there we were, quite literally stuck in the mud; the most gooey mud I’ve ever seen in my life. two steps in it and your shoes weighed at least 2kg each. we phoned our friends who were already at the house to ask for jump cables – they had one and came to rescue me. we connected the cars and successfully started mine up again. and slipped and slided the rest of the way to the house.
the house was amazing, directly on the lake with a big veranda from which steps descended to a dock on stilts out on the lake. the lake is not very wide and the surrounding hills are covered in fields interspersed with huts, you can hear the cows and goats and birds – other than that it’s perfectly peaceful and quiet. we arrived, grabbed a beer and almost immediately the cook came round with a tray of brochettes fresh off the grill – it was like arriving at a five-star hotel. and soon after we arrived dusk settled over the landscape – the sun going down behind the hills opposite the house, shedding a golden glow on the water which was very still and sparkly. I just sat on the steps and took it all in; hungry for the kind of beauty only nature can offer you, hungry for the tranquillity of the place and hungry for some inner peace. and as I sat on the steps drinking up the moment it struck me once more that I am actually in africa – living my dream. I am in love with this place, with this life. and when I am in situations like this one I can’t help but fly up and look down on myself and think – this is what you see in films; a bunch of friends hanging out at a great place and not a worry in the world. it is these moments that make me aware of how very lucky I am to live the life I’m living; sometimes I really do have it all!
after a nice night on the dock we woke up this morning to witness a rainstorm that would turn the road into an inferno of mud again… and then the rain wouldn’t stop for hours. at first we were not too bothered but it wouldn’t stop and wouldn’t stop – and I was getting tired and wanted to go home to my shower and bed; I hadn’t slept all that well on the sofa and had woken up way too early and really wanted a cup of tea. instead I had a can of coke and pretended it was coffee – you’ve got to be flexible, right? the rain stopped and the cooks cooked up a fantastic meal – state of the art omelettes served on a table made from beer crates and banana leaves, followed by freshly caught, grilled eel and the remainder of the goat. my dog devoured the goat skin – which did not exactly please the cooks as they could have sold it… oh dear.
btw: this is the rain, not a night time shot!
after a nice meal and a beer in the emerging sunshine we decided it was time to get moving. I was going to need someone to jump my car – so we got the cables out again and connected my cherry red ride to one of the big brothers – and could not start her up… at all. SH…T! luckily there were guys there that understand basic car stuff and discovered that my battery acid had virtually dried up – so we filled the battery with mineral water (good trick!) and then she came to life no problem. I also managed not to lose the engine on the way back through the mud. and knowing what was waiting for us I managed to get through with much less problems – in fact I pretty much zipped through the mud as though it wasn’t there (well, maybe a slight exaggeration ;-)) as we got almost to the end of it I suddenly got a whiff of a very rank goaty smell coming from the back of my car. now, if you’re a regular you will know that my dog gets car sick – and sure enough she had spewed up all the goat skin she had devoured earlier… it was the most disgusting thing I’d ever had in a car! and of course I couldn’t drive on with that pile of dead, chewed and spewed goat in the back of my car. so I got out my swiss knife, cut up a water bottle and made a goat-skin-scoop-up device. needless to say the process of removing the remnant of the goat was one of the most disgusting tasks I’d ever performed…
driving back was magical, empty roads winding through beautiful landscape illuminated by the late afternoon sun pouring down the hills. I was alone in the car – except for the sleeping dogs obviously – and just enjoyed a moment of happiness and gratefulness. happy to be alive and grateful to be able to experience such moments and be conscious of their beauty. life can be so sweet!
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