the next morning I was making coffee and just re-arranging the purchases in the kitchen as I noticed the price tag on the honey jar - it said: 'racing car' - 10,500 FRW. it of course reminded me of the days when we'd weigh a box of pencils, print out the equivalent of its weight as aubergines and then had a mighty giggle when the person at the check-out didn't notice the difference. and I thought - ha - who would be so stupid as to not detect such a mistake? well, we were. I found the receipt two minutes later and believe it or not we'd purchased a jar of cheap honey at the price of a racing car.... well - so much for wanting to save money.
not only the humans were having a blissful time!
and because expat life is not just about bliss, but involves cars also I will tell you the story of my other 'racing car', a.k.a. the cherry red joyride, bertinchen. she's been suffering from ignition problems; which for me have become common currency to the point where I never park my car nose uphill, nor will I take her inside any compounds where it will be hard to push her should she decide not to ignite. I am by now an expert in bumpstarting and more.
anyway - before going to kibuye I had the ninja look her over and he told me there was a problem with a part in the ignition mechanism but that the guy who had the corresponding part wanted too much money for it, so he'd found a makeshift solution. basically, there were problems in maintaining the electrical circuit for starting the car - so whenever that problem would ocurr, I would have to stick my left hand under the dashboard and move the cables around until I'd get a contact. we dubbed it 'mcgyvering the car' - it worked just fine once I figured out which cable it was. and so I've been getting used to this new system over the last two weeks. towards the end of last week it started getting more and more tricky - i.e. finding the right position for the cable to establish contact was becoming increasingly complicated.
on saturday night I was en route to a friend's house and stopped at the shop - after that I could barely find the contact; I ended up driving down the hill with one hand stuck under the dashboard, peering out through the steering wheel - but of course your hand is never steady enough whilst driving a bumpy little car to hold it in place - and so eventually the engine just didn't have electricity anymore and died. I was stranded. bugger.
I called the ninja, who came straight away and realised immediately (with a little help from his nokia-torch) that one of the cables was broken and it was thus impossible to establish a circuit. 'we have to cut the cables' was his verdict. right. I was totally expecting him to take the car with him. instead he started rummaging under the passenger seat of my car and extracted a machete - he'd forgotten it last time he'd repaired the car - and I have obviously been driving around with a machete for the last 2 weeks - unknowingly. anyway - he starts chopping away at the cables whilst I'm holding the flashlight and watch the whole process with hightening suspicion. but then again - you have to trust - this is africa, this is ninja - things work out, sometimes in very strange ways, but they do.
to cut a long story short - 10 minutes later I had learnt how to hotwire a car. and henceforth this was going to be my new ignition until the old one was repaired. so there I was, feeling a little bit like the african version of gone in 60 seconds, of course it took 20 minutes more like. and honestly, who hasn't wanted to steal a car before? be honest! well - I've stolen mine. and if it wasn't for the engine not ticking over fast enough and the backfiring I would probably be driving around like this for a while to come.... and do I need to mention that I love it?
.jpg)
